Kedgaree!

I am partially 'laid up', and am still finding it very difficult to get around. Consequently, the meals are pretty haphazzard around here. I can only stand for about a minute, then I have to sit down. #1 husband came inside this evening around 5pm, and said he was going to cook some rice. I had forgotten to put a loaf of bread on to cook in the bread maker, and there is no meat cooked. There was nothing for tea. When Neville said he was going to cook rice, I said in that case, I would make kedgaree, if he took me to the supermarket so I could buy a tin of canned beef. He said, 'What the heck is kedgaree? It sounds like dog food. ' I said it is similar to risotto. He remained unimpressed., so when I got to the supermarket, I bought shaved ham and a small tub of coleslaw and a loaf of bread. Yawn!! Later, after we had our sangers, I was feeling a bit warm, as my chair is next to the window, and it has been a warm day. I asked him to turn the fan on to the lowest speed. He said, 'That is the lowest button, right?' I said it was. He pressed it and nothing happened. I said that it may not be plugged in far enough. He checked all connections and tried again. Still nothing. It was then I looked around to find him vainly pressing the 'off' button!!! When I remonstrated with him, he said, 'You said the bottom button'. I said, 'Yes, the bottom one, up from the off button, surely you can read?' Mere Male page look out!